Improving Self-Concept Through Communication

Originally written May 11, 2011

Our self-concept is a complex and ever-changing dimension of ourselves and affects all aspects of how we behave in the world, especially the way we communicate with ourselves and our peers.  Negative communication climates and destructive communication patterns used by those around us can lead to low self-esteem and a negative self-concept which are likely to lead to poorly developed communication skills and low levels of social or academic achievement.  The good news is that effective training in social and interpersonal communication skills can improve performance in social, academic and professional environments and thereby lead to increased self-esteem and a more positive self-concept.  This paper examines the theory of self-concept, the process by which it is developed and maintained, how it affects interpersonal communication and relationships, and how interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills strategies and training can be used to improve self-concept and thus lead to higher levels of fulfillment and achievement.

Defining self-concept and its boundaries is not an easy thing to do and there are many ways to think about self, self-concept, and identity.  “The most widely used term is self-concept and generally refers to the totality of a complex, organized, and dynamic system of learned beliefs, attitudes and opinions that each person holds to be true about his or her personal existence (Yahaya, 2009).”  I believe the key word is ‘learned.”  No one is born with an existing self-concept, it is formed over time and continues to change based on a variety of factors and stimuli originating both outside and inside oneself.  The combination of these factors and stimuli including parental upbringing, temperament, culture of origin, gender, etc. all combine and collide to mold and maintain or change a person’s self-concept.  However, “self-concept is made up of three distinct elements: reflected appraisals, social comparisons, and self-perception (Hybels & Weaver, 2007).”

Each of the elements above plays a key role in determining the how a person’s self-concept develops.   Reflected appraisals are made up of all the information one receives with regards to themselves from those around them.  “It is in response to and because of our interpersonal communication with people important to us that we develop a view of ourselves, which we strive to maintain.  Each of us is immersed in a continual stream of reflected appraisals in which we see images of ourselves mirrored in the input and feedback of people in our social world (Brassfield & Daniels, 1996).”  Comments and statements made by parents, teachers, friends, and relatives about oneself are internalized over time and become part of one’s self-concept.  In other words, if one hears repeatedly from others that they are capable, this message likely becomes part of one’s internal dialogue and beliefs about oneself.  “If you were given positive reflected appraisals when you were young, you probably have a good self-concept; if the appraisals were largely negative, your self-concept may suffer (Hybels & Weaver, 2007).”

Social comparisons happen when one evaluates themselves based on how they believe they measure up to others around them.  Although we may think that comparing ourselves to others is counter-productive because each individual is unique, social comparisons are extremely important because despite our seemingly lonely existence, at times, humans being cannot live completely isolated from their community, nor should they.  Social comparisons enable one to achieve an accurate self-perception and are pivotal to self-evaluations, or how one judges themselves in relation to others on particular attributes (Hybels & Weaver, 2007).”  Self-evaluation and an accurate self-perception are essential tools in order for one to successfully make his way through the social world and respond appropriately to social cues by communicating effectively.

This brings us to the last of the three elements – self-perception – which is not only an ever-changing picture of how one views oneself, but also dependent on several components and variables.  “They include physical, social, intellectual, and spiritual elements such as convictions about principles; basic personal wants and desires; moral, religious, and political feelings; as well as responses to personal freedom, social controls, and oppression of one kind or another (Hybels & Weaver, 2007).”  Based on these numerous and intricate components it is not difficult to see that a change in any one of the aforementioned areas could potentially cause a significant shift in self-perception.  Consider how one’s self-perception may change if they were to change their mind about an issue such as the legalization of gay marriage or abortion.  “They include, too, how you respond to failings and difficulties (or achievements and successes) as well as mental stress and self-deception (2007).”  The latter is particularly important as a determinant of how well one will be able to handle any obstacles they may encounter in life.

It would logically follow that if each of the three elements described above were in large part positive, then one’s self concept would also be positive.  In other words, if one spends most of one’s time in positive communication climates, receiving a majority of supportive messages and experiencing positive behaviors, they are likely to have a positive self-concept.  Whereas, if the opposite is true and one spends the most of one’s time in negative communication climates, receiving a majority of negative and messages and experiencing negative behaviors, they are likely to have a negative self-concept.  A 1997 study on self-concept and self-esteem in women by Chatham-Carpenter and DeFrancisco noted that “the similarity of our findings to the theoretical perspective of symbolic interactionism is seen in many women's talk about learning how to view themselves and certain aspects of their lives from their communication with others.  Others helped the women process their thoughts, learn to be assertive, take risks, care for themselves, and believe they are important; it was these significant others' perspectives that the women seem to have internalized and used to label and name themselves.  In both of these areas-learning from others and self-talk-we see the central role communication plays for these women on their self-esteem journeys.”

Therefore, as communication climates affect self-concept, so do self-concept, perceptions, emotions, and nonverbal expression directly affect communications skills and interpersonal relationships.  “A person's self-concept is integrally linked to communication, both interpersonally and intrapersonally.  Many theorists have posited a connection between communicating in relationships and/or with one's self and the building and maintaining of one's self-concept.  Further, evidence suggests that one's self-concept affects how a person chooses to communicate both with him/herself and with other people in the processing of internal thoughts and emotions, as well as in the selecting of strategies chosen in interaction (Chatham-Carpenter & DeFrancisco, 1997).”

On an interpersonal level, one’s self-concept will be a key factor in determining how one will interpret, process and respond to messages from others in one’s community and the nature of the messages will be a key factor in determining the quality of one’s self-concept.  “Each of us is exposed to ongoing “suggestions” about how we are to behave, think, and dress:  “suggestions” about the limits and nature of our abilities, and even “suggestions” about our potential as persons (Brassfield & Daniels, 1996).”  In this way, the characteristic of one’s interpersonal relationships directly influences one’s self-concept and one’s self-concept will directly influence how one behaves in those relationships.  Communication affects self-concept and self-concept affects communication – it is a self-sustaining cycle.  Therefore it is critical to underscore that with such an intricate connection between communication and self-concept, it is extremely important to know where to make changes when the cycle is going in a negative direction. 

 

Although having a positive self-concept is not the only indicator of being a good communicator or high achiever, those with positive self-concepts tend to be more willing communicators, have greater confidence, experience far fewer obstacles to developing effective communication skills and have higher goals.  “Effective communication increases career advancement opportunities, enhances self-esteem, nurtures relationships and helps us manage stress.  When we communicate effectively and feel understood, work - and life - are satisfying.  We feel in control, valued, trusted and respected (Kanchier, 2000).” 

Hence, given the importance of forming and maintaining a positive self-concept and being an effective communicator to leading a successful and fulfilling life, what can one do to improve one’s own self-concept and have a positive impact on the self-concept of those around them.  As an individual one has the responsibility to take charge of one’s own self-concept ‘destiny,’ but those in leadership roles, such as parents, teachers, mentors, educators, have the responsibility of helping their sons, daughters, pupils and mentees to develop positive images of themselves and their abilities and therefore a strong self-concept.

Where then can an individual begin to improve their self-concept through communication?  It is multifaceted issue and the women surveyed in the Chatham-Carpenter & Daniels study showed that “the development and maintenance of positive self-esteem is an inherently pervasive communicative process that evolves over the life span, and that the strategies they use are multidimensional and interrelated, suggesting a more holistic approach to self-esteem than has been portrayed by previous scholars (1997).”  However, the first and most important strategy cited in the study as a means to improve self-esteem and self-concept, was communicating and learning in relationships.  “All of the women talked about the importance of relationships in the building and maintaining of their self-esteem.  They spoke of the importance of both giving and receiving from others in various relational contexts (1997).”  Next, the women mentioned taking individual action in four major areas: (a) taking care of self, (b) risk-taking, (c) experiencing success, and (d) having interests and being active, and lastly, the women talked about a third group of strategies that were more internal and cognitive in nature.  The study noted that self-talk or intra-personal communication is an integral aspect of these strategies which included: (a) gaining a perspective on specific life experiences, (b) relying on a strong inner self, and (c) developing individual maturity (1997).

When an individual employs the individual actions and communication strategies above, they are likely to improve their communication skills and experience a positive shift in their self-concept.  However, those around them can also make a positive impact by supporting their efforts and helping them succeed in becoming more self-assured, confident and competent communicators and achievers.  Although this can be achieved at any age, there is no time more important than one’s childhood and youth to effect real and lasting change.  The following strategies are geared toward teachers and instructors but they can be equally if not more effective for parents, relatives and other important individuals in a young person’s life.

If those with a poor self-concept are more likely to expect low achievement, and even failure from themselves, and thus be more likely to fall into the self-fulfilling prophesy trap, how can the cycle be broken?  “The instructor’s responsibility, in these cases, is to jump into the continuing cycle and – through positive feedback – help to alter the self-perceptions of low self-concept students… it is possible and necessary for improved academic achievement as well as optimal self-concept (Brassfield & Daniels, 1996).”  Brassfield & Daniels also noted the following communication based initiatives as essential methods teachers should utilize in improving student self-concept: being honest in their communication of positive and negative reinforcement and provide accurate appraisals so as to create realistic expectations; recognize students as individuals instead of constantly comparing them to the class or group, give them opportunities to work to their own expectations and reward them for making significant gains in these endeavors – this is specifically important and should especially applicable to parents as well because “recognizing each student as having specific talents and interests will hone their individual abilities, thus improving their self-concept in an applicable way;” implementing testing techniques that go beyond the traditional paper and pencil and allow students to have a broader and more accurate assessment of their abilities and achievements; re-assessing the classroom environment by promoting small group activities so as to increase interaction with other students and thus developing more effective interpersonal communication skills (1996).

Yahaya also made specific suggestions for initiatives that will help improve student communications skills and therefore self-concept including making communication skills training a part of school curriculums, provide teacher training in communication and interpersonal skills so that they serve as positive role models to students and providing opportunities for activities that help build effective communication skills such as speech and debate clubs.  Again, although these initiatives are geared toward the school environment, some of the same principles can be applied to non-students in both home and social settings.  For example, providing the opportunity for and encouraging activities that improve communication skills can also be used in companies by bosses and managers, such as letting employees participate in conducting presentations and leading meetings.

Learning to communicate effectively and supporting those around us in becoming more effective communicators can have powerful consequences in improving our own self-concept and the self-concept of those in our communities.  The importance of communication and self-concept should not be underestimated and educating parents, leaders, teacher and community members on ways of improving them could pay significant dividends for all involved.  “Perception, intrapersonal and interpersonal communication work together and constantly to form a student’s self-concept.  With added emphasis on developing positive self-concepts instructors will promote well adjusted, independent and intelligent individuals.  Hence, energy spent on student self-concepts will reward not only the student in his or her endeavors in the future but also the community as a whole which relies on the abilities of the young to continue the progress of society (Brassfield & Daniels, 1996).”

As seen above, the theory of self-concept, the process by which it is developed and maintained, and how it affects interpersonal communication and relationships, and the level of success and achievement in personal, social and professional spheres are intricately connected.  This can lead to negative outcomes when destructive communication behaviors lead to poor self-concept and vice-versa in a self-sustaining cycle.  However, as previously outlined, interpersonal and intrapersonal communication skills strategies and training can be used to break negative cycles to improve self-concept and thus lead to higher levels of fulfillment and achievement.

References

Brassfield, A. & Daniels, C., (1996). Communication techniques and their effects on self-concept in the classroom. (Retrived from http://www.eric.ed.gov/ERICWebPortal/search/detailmini.jsp?_nfpb=true&_&ERICExtSearch_SearchValue_0=ED395347&ERICExtSearch_SearchType_0=no&accno=ED395347 on April 25, 2011)

Chatham-Carpenter, A. & DeFrancisco, V., (1997). Pulling yourself up again: Women's choices and strategies for recovering and maintaining self-esteem.  Western Journal of Communication, 61(2), 164-187.  Retrieved May 3, 2011, from Research Library. (Document ID: 12516764).

Hybels, S. & Weaver, R.L., (2007). Communicating effectively (8th Ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

Kanchier, C.,  (2000, March 12).  How you can be an effective communicator.  San Francisco Examiner, p. J.3.  Retrieved May 3, 2011, from ProQuest Newsstand. (Document ID: 50941492).

Yahaya, A. (2009) The relationship of self-concept and communication skills towards academic achievement among secondary school students in Johor Bahru. International Journal of Psychological Studies, Vol. 1. Canadian Center of Science and Education.  (Retrieved from http://www.ccsenet.org/journal/index.php/ijps/article/view/3931/3796 on April 25, 2011).